I TOOK 6 WEEKS OFF FROM SOCIAL MEDIA.
IT WASN’T PLANNED BUT HERE IS WHAT I LEARNED.
WHERE IT ALL BEGAN.
When my daughter was born, I got a new phone. My first ‘smart’ phone. I remember my partner telling me all the ways I could use it beyond just calling people. He laughed at my lack of interest in using it for the internet, chatting, watching videos. Because I had never needed these functions ‘on the go’ I couldn’t understand what the big deal was.
Then came the endless nights breastfeeding in the wee hours with my babe, I started to scroll.I noticed that Canada being awake when Australia was asleep meant I could chat with my people in those crazy hours. And so my relationship with social media began.
When my daughter turned three, I began my Essential Oil business. My mentors were using social media as their primary tool for connecting and teaching. So I learned well, and soaked up all I could. My phone became a part of my existence. I would watch training’s, follow groups, share information. I built a big and beautiful community online, with Social Media as our platform. I ADORE this community. It has members from around the world, with an interest in living healthy, vibrant lives using natural tools. We laugh, cry, have fun, share experiences, ask questions. Friendships have been forged from opposite sides of the world. I can’t think of a better way to bring this growing group of people together. And when I need to step away, they continue the conversation. Blessed is how I feel for this part of my business which really comes from love + connection + community.
THEN THERE CAME THE ADDICTION.
I started to recognise some unhealthy patterns. Falling into the trap of reaching for my phone when I wake up. Scrolling before bed. Carrying it with me and ‘working’ while my daughter does gymnastics or is watching TV. I have never been prone to addiction before. I quit cigarettes cold turkey. But this? This is a whole other level. Taking a closer look at why I am drawn to my screen time leads me to appreciate the need for connection.
The need to be seen and heard is very real.
When someone responds to something I’ve written, it feels good! Who doesn’t love to get a heart on a post? Oh, and the FOMO. Fear of missing out when everyone is talking about something that went viral, like a video or a Meme, and you want to be in the loop. The ability to be ‘social’ from the comfort and security of my house. I can have a glass of wine in hand or a cup of coffee and still hang out with my global friends! As the most outgoing and social introvert/homebody you have probably ever met, this was my sweet spot. No wonder I got hooked.
SO WHERE DID IT ALL BECOME CLEAR?
My Dad passed away suddenly, after years of illness. I had to shift gears, jump on a plane and fly solo to my hometown. Through my grieving process, and attention span taken up with supporting my family, I had no interest in being public. I wanted to hide away. My heart was hurting and I had no joy to share. Realistically, the people you see most online are all shiny happy faces. Rarely do you see someone down and out sobbing on their Insta stories! So I stepped away, for me. To quiet the noise and go inward.
THIS IS WHAT I LEARNED.
Not everything needs to be shared. Ask yourself why you feel pulled to share that picture of your family, that coffee you had, that time you took out for you? When we are reaching for our phones or thinking about how this might be your next post, you lose mindfulness. You are missing your life.
Parts of your life are sacred. There are places and moments in each person's life that are private. To be lived. To be present. Is the world a part of your inner circle? Does your mailman need to know that you had a fight with your husband? Or every detail of your birthing experience? I sometimes share intimate stories, but only when I feel it will help others experiencing the same and I am very mindful of protecting my private life.
Setting boundaries. Shutting off the noise on social media by taking a break can be the healthiest boundary you set for yourself , which is the ultimate form of self-care.
Staying true to your own direction. We can’t help but be influenced by what others are doing. When we step away, we give ourselves the opportunity to tune into our own inner voice.
Time mapping. Feel like you never have enough time? Have you ever taken a realistic look at the time you spend on your screen? There are great tools that will help you get real about this, and alert you when you reach your daily minutes.
It’s not all or nothing. Find your own balance. Reconnect with yourself and come back stronger and clearer. The big beautiful world out there is a wonderful thing to connect with and social media can be a tool. Recognise if you are using it, or if it is using you and become conscious of your motivation.
HERE ARE FIVE HELPFUL STEPS.
Remove the temptation: Heard of Pavlovs Bell? Remove your notification alerts and group your social media apps into folders to make them more difficult to access.
Leave Your Phone At Home: Do you really need your phone with you every minute of every day? Think about leaving it at home or in the car. Create a safe space without access to social media. This will help stop the cycle of reaching for it out of habit.
Create Phone-Free Zones: Make Mindfulness a habit by creating spaces where your phone is not allowed within your home. This is a big one for me. My phone is my alarm clock, my camera, my flashlight, my music. Deciding to keep it out of the bedroom is a massive step. I know the research on this, and sleeping with it next to you is definitely not good. I also want it away from the dinner table. This is a time to connect with the people sitting with you, and even if you are alone, to be present when nourishing your body.
Sleep On Air plane Mode: This was a BIG help for me. Turn on air plane mode before you go to bed, so that you won’t see notifications first thing in the morning. I personally have started to not turn it on until AFTER I take my daughter to school. If there is an emergency, my family have a backup way to reach me.
Pick two days a week it will be Off: Sign out of all social media apps first thing Saturday. Monitor how you feel by Sunday night and resist the urge to log on until Monday. Pick the days you will commit to this, and consider, if this feels hard, why?
A FINAL REMINDER.
Don’t worry about missing anything on social media during your break. All the inspiration and connections you need are all around you. It’s time to look up!
What you decide to share will be so much more valuable once you’ve filled your real life cup!